break up sex still means we will always be broken up.
And we will make penis cookies and eat them suggestively
He told me he loved me mid lick. Anyone that can look at me from that angle, lick my vagina, and say they love me must absolutely mean it
Hope your thanksgiving is a complete blowjob festival.
I think its pretty common. 1 out of every 4 people probably have a stripper's phone # in their phone.
Hope you don't mind if I never tell my family about you.
Okay. I am working on pulling a tooth out of my mouth. Call me.
What's the mantra for Sunday?
I will not have sex with him.
I can't believe we really went to walgreens to use their cork opener, bounced and drank a bottle of wine in a sketchy corner...
I'm sitting next to the guy that peed in our drying machine
As much as I want you to bang someone other than me, he is an asshole.
I'd call the fact I ended up in my own bed a huge success
I'm going to tell you something and I want no judgement because it's america day and I'm wearing an American flag bathing suit but...I woke up in a yard.
He showed his fake to the cop and was like "does the coloring look off to you?"
u ever get horny for food. i ordered a bunch of crepes and its doin it 4 me
Randomize