Did we fight the bathroom girl ? She just wanted to give us lotion and condoms.
There are regrets in my world today- mostly jager at that fucking altitude
The fire breather is here so I may get my second wind.
Also, not pregnant! Way to go uterus! Good job on being a team player!
Not a clue. But I did find out that his penis has a British accent.
I've noticed we have slowly begun to phase the "B" out of our Bromance.
I distinctly remember telling him "I'll suck your dick while you eat pizza"
That was the night I passed out and someone threw chicken at me. SORRY I wasn't available to cockblock you from that Hispanic dude.
I just remember banging him and then at some point I went and took a shower and went and laid in the closet
You fell asleep standing up against the shower wall
I REMEMBER NUGGETS BEING THERE BUT WE WERE AT A TACO BELL
I haven't been dieting for my entire life to date some guy who thinks his dad bod is a riot.
I NEED TO TAKE A FUCKING BREAK. MY VAGINA IS SMOKING.
I've never seen so much of my blood outside me. After the initial shock it was kind of cool.
I'm making a sandwich topless right now. Remind me again why I don't have a boyfriend?
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