i may or may not have been spotted by tourists while getting head in the vicinity of the jefferson memorial
We just took the batteries out of the fire alarm to play the breathalyzer game. I love college.
sex on the roof is not as easy as it sounds
We need somewhere to take these girls. Otherwise it's a orgy in the Mazda.
I'm just gonna be the bigger person here and say I want you inside me
running the faucet water is not hiding the sound of you vomiting. fyi.
Don't worry. This time I'll get black out drunk so they'll just think it's an American thing.
I had her buy me a cock ring, so we might test that out. We are presently playing yahtzee.
Cock rings and yahtzee. Like peanut butter and jelly.
I almost wanna stick a tampon in and sneeze bent over to see if it actually shoots out
The only people who will bring me pizza or tacos want a commitment and I'm hungry for food not their love.
GO RIDE HIS EYEBROWS INTO THE SUNSET
Just fantasized about my boss's fingers in a meeting. I desperately need to get some.
I just found (and ate) a chunk of a reese's that fell between my boobs. Problem is that I finished those off 3 days ago in a drunk induced sob session... Has it really been that long since I changed my clothes?!
Said he wanted to wear me as a loincloth. Not sure if sexual or predatory
All I could think about was how many vaginas had been on the toliet that I was pukin in
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