This dress was meant to end up on your floor
he whipped it out and it smelt like my toilet after taco Tuesday
After the sixth shot I started to slur my pauses.
I knew she was going to get knocked up just by looking at her facebook pics
What can I say, we hook up during the holidays.. We're a seasonal couple
She bit a glass in half.
He's either jacking off or listening to Kanye West.
I would think I was a stalker too if I wasn't myself
He rode my dog to the bathroom and wouldn't stop laughing once he got in. It was scary.
Gees I domt know what your deal was. You kept looking at Nick and shaking your head frantically and doing a weird motion with your hands
Tgat was the small dick alert
I knew it was on when he was dancing on stage and I gave him a dollar so in return he ripped my tit out of my shirt and started sucking on it IN THE MIDDLE OF THE BAR.
I'm so glad we both made out with him though. I feel like that really brought us together
I am never taking a razor down there again. He'll have to love me as I am.
Colombian exchange intern from my Mom's friend's ranch loves me, and is staying the night because we got each other drunk. Successful Christmas? I think yes.
It's times when I'm naked but also want to be platonically social that I miss you the most.
Randomize
