you only like me because i go down faster than a bridge in minnesota
Marriage: a sacred union between one man and one woman, and another woman in Argentina.
I texted her sayin "I gotta brush my teethn then Im omw" maybe hint to do the same
he wont speak to me right now because i told him it must suck knowing he'll never be as good as edward cullen..idiot.
I just found glitter on my vibrator... whatever we're doing has to stop
My own vomit just splashed me in the face. How's your day going
frankly if you're gonna get kicked out of your place, hooking up with your gay roommate's boyfriend would be the most entertaining way to do it.
Whatever. I indirectly made you cum overseas. Call it even.
She may be more beautiful than I am, but I bet she hasnt pissed in as many public places as me...
I'm looking for whatever I can find, and afford without having to eat my emotional support cat
Is it appropriate to send an apology gift to his roommates for breaking the bathroom sink during crazy sex?
My sex toys have been held in customs for almost a month now. They're British, what the hell?!?
i don't want him to see me in a bathing suit.
hasn't he seen you naked?
well yeah, but it's different in a bathing suit.
Sorry didnt text you yesterday. had to put restraining order on my ex.
I finally selected an outfit that says "I'm not easy" but still shows off the tittays.
Randomize
