the #6 from wendy's when stoned is definitely better than sex. i dont care what anyone says.
I just farted for five sidewalk sections! New personal best.
Its like everytime i see you, my vagina gets a heartbeat.
He added me on Facebook. I'm pretty sure he got my name from the inside of the bra I had lost in the frat house.
My glasses smell like tequila. I just put them on and almost threw up.
Dude, just look at these fucking curtains and chill out.
Our suitemates are shrooming again. I left a less colorful dress hanging on the door, change before you come in because purple is making Maeve cry.
You're fucking beautiful as shit and we should have loving sex...
All those movies are bullshit, there is no way to run down a line of parked cars, they`re too far apart. my faces hurts so much right now
only i would grind with someone to harp music at a gay wedding
He's way too stoned. I took him to el bra and he's laying on the table, not sure what to do with him
Getting your clit pierced is not something you want to trust to a crazy girl with an ice cube, some vodka, and a sewing needle. Trust me. I learned that the hard way.
Your dad was just slow dancing with the priest and holding a beer. Classic
ok so you're 100% sure this time that he isn't your ex in disguise again?
Why is there a condom in my ukulele?
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