I was about to buy asher roth's album and then i realized he was a ginger. can't support
i made it my goal to pee in the sink of every apartment we went to last night. i didnt use the toilet once
Despite what happened tonight, Im still expecting Jesus birthday sex
Ever have those mornings where you just can't wait to puke in the shower?
I didn't get a chance to take any pics but the mental snapshot of her boyfriend calling her directly after we finished was a really special moment I wish I could properly share with you.
I'm considering having a threesome with my friend just so I can sleep with his boyfriend and not feel guilty about it.
I just had a mental image of us riding a tractor through hell with one of those big guns mounted on top of it shooting at everyone while the indiana jones music plays.
Jill you already won the game by finding a dude who will fuck you in flamingo knee socks. Theres no hope for the rest of us
Now I'm ashamed that I wore a bra
All I've consumed in the last 24 hours is cranberry vodka and kosher for passover biscotti
That's what happens when you party with the tribe
I don't think stranger penis made your tonsils bleed
dude, last night I won a real sword and a bottle of vodka in a cards against humanity tournament
Wait are we really having an orgy on Tuesday?
I honestly didn't think living in Canada would change me, until I found myself watching hockey porn
Afterwards I drank a whole bottle of cake vodka in the bathtub while he was bawling his eyes out. Hands down weirdest hookup I've ever had.
Randomize
