She said "I only hook up with guys I'm dating"
So... What happend then?
We dated for an hour, i broke up with her after. BOOM.
Dont even try and act like it wasn't you who made the sex tape of my dogs.
her facebook pictures are like a timeline of all the guys she's screwed.
He's 11. You dont draw dicks on 11 year olds, i dont care if he ate your lasagna
I think it's our patriotic duty to get high and watch the state of the union tonight
Now that you're back together are you gonna tell him you set his stuff on fire?
Just took my birth control pill next to the cubicle where we had sex last semester.
You and Eric are like slutty bowling balls, and that poor family are the pins. They won't know what hit em.
strike, motherfucker.
Just made a PowerPoint called "Reasons Why You Should Fuck Me" at his request. The sad thing is we've had sex before...
but it was less of a make out and more of a goodnight kiss as a "thanks for giving our drunk asses a ride home and sorry we called your bar the worst bar in LA"
Will you be my therapist? I don't want to tell me secrets to a strange person and be judged all over again when you have already taken the time to do it. Oh and I will pay you with alcohol
While randomly hooking up with my neighbor last night he says "it's okay we're neighbors".
I feel like your personal Bdsm barbie...
Omg I got up from his bed and almost did a header into the wall because I came so many times I forgot how to walk.
All I recall is being at the strip club doing dark rum shots and then puking a question mark on the wall above the garbage can in the men's room and having diarrhea in the sink. 6th drunkest I've ever been without blacking out.
Randomize
