I figured girls wouldn't be down to sleep w/ a guy who plugged a pregnant chick
YOU GOT EVICTED FROM A TRAILER PARK!?!? WTF!!!!!
explain the missing patches of hair on my cat. now.
His dick might not be the answer to my problems, but I'm definitely ok with testing it as a possible solution.
Apparently we had sex last night, and then I made him drive me to the beach so I could puke in the ocean.
in my defense, he kept drinking all of my water.
he had diabetes and you told him to stop being a pansy!
Okay. But I hope it isn't expensive lingerie. Because I'm ripping it off Hulk Hogan style.
She had one unshaved part on her vagina that she called "the soul patch" I just didn't know what to think
Directions to your booty call: go down the part of Route 66 that has all the car dealerships, motels and bad decisions, go past the Christian college and turn left at the Children's Center.
Watching my ex make out with another girl is weird.
But she's wearing a jumpsuit so I feel better.
When do you sleep by the way. I was surprised when I went to work at 1 am,left at 7 am and had a text from you somewhere in between
I just vodka nap now...
They have beer where we have blood.
decided to jump from one of the levels of the Westin chicago Nortghwest. it was worth the broken legs.
My ex's girlfriend just invited me clubbing. Guess who won the breakup?
She told us she had powers and that eating tree bark cures the shits.
Randomize
