i just made my mom cry by blowing spit bubbles.
totally got the gold medal for the best fence jump when the cops came.
Is sexting at a funeral morally wrong?
His apartment number was 69. I had to.
She brought a box of chocolates to give the bartender and now he's giving her free shots.. Why didn't we think of that?
You told them to let you give him stitches claiming you were a certified nurse because you've taken plant biology classes
The AC broke so he ended up sleeping in the front yard and left his one night stand on the couch.
Every concussion has its silver lining
I threw away my jacket instead of washing it, the jungle juice stained me more of shame than red food coloring... i have never been that white girl wasted before...
IM DRINK YORE HIFH WE ARE POSTERCHOLD OF AMERICA
You would think that me seductively unzipping my cat feetie pajamas would make him want to fuck me.
Drunk girl in a bikini just tried to bite my face, it's officially spring break
Any recommendations for how to tell your wife about the pics of her 19 yr old sister on a porn site without admitting you were surfing said porn site?
Sex should not remind me of how baby birds get fed
She took all the bottles out of the shower caddy and replaced them with booze. I just made a shower Manhatten. Imma marry this one.
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