doesn't he have a GF?
that just means you have to try harder.
i didn't have to try TOO hard, just told him i didn't want to know his name or...
he refuses to go down on me anymore when he's high because he thinks my clit piercing stares at him
I have no morals, kinda like you have no standards
None
Does my status still say I suck cocks? I don't know how to change it
Correct me if I'm wrong here... but did we serenade each others breasts to "winds of change" last night?
The bank teller laughed at me....I'm apparently that fucking hungover looking
All I wanted was my $85. Judgement free. But nooooo
My phone broke again .... im not really sure how im going 2 explain the teeth marks to the ppl at the Verizon store
James this is colleen. This is my new number. You just texted my grandma about getting cockblocked. Congratulations.
I actively tried geting in the guy's pants and ended up in the girl's. I'm bad at this whole straight while drunk thing.
Just found the last picture of me as a virgin. Framed it.
Here's to not getting arrested this year on thanksgiving again. Cheers bitches!
Well. I hope my dad likes whatever sweater stoned me picks out.
the next morning we realized we didnt speak the same language... guess i subconsciously did learn a little german last semester. thanks study abroad.
ah the experiences a semester in Vienna can give you. Frau would enjoy knowing that even while sleeping during class you still managed to learn enough german to get laid
I can't tell if my heart is fluttering because I love him... or if it's palpitating from all the coke.
So is he the one who got away?
They all got away. I’m a catch and release kind of girl.
Randomize
