Hey sorry i havent responded. i threw up on my phone while i was sleeping
dude. i was so high. i watched shrek in russian.
Who tried to make mustard cubes with the ice cube tray?
We just built a bong out of a pineapple. I am never leaving hawaii. Ever.
Eventually evolution will just give us a better liver anyway, so our great great grandkids should THANK us for our binge drinking.
But please don't judge me if i smell like mustard
my first words to him the next morning were "do you like magic"?
so far I've only met her once and hung out one other time. Up to 5 BJs already. That's serious efficiency.
I wasn't that drunk, I know my limits. When peeing became difficult I stopped taking shots.
When you say shenanigans does that mean I should bring birth control?
DUDE. HOLY FUCK MY PRINCIPAL WAS JUST MY UBER DRIVER. I AM LITERALLY TRAUMATIZED. ANS DRUNK. HOLY FUCK OMG
I just said "I love my cat" as a hobby.
Fuck me first. Then we can craft and watch Terminator 2.
Stop calling me, Mom. I'm in his closet. You're gonna blow my cover and I'm about to catch this lying SOB.
I was actually kind of excited. I mean, how many people can say they've been question by the CIA?
Randomize
