let's bang
You're in my phone as 'Weird Bus Guy' so I think my answer's no.
I got to stop making out with my boss at work. I think we should just get it overwith, be dissaponted and move on.
New favorite sorority...they made me pancakes in the morning and welcomed back the walk of shame girls with a round of applause
you should give me head with plastic fangs in
you think she would figure it out that ever dude that fucks her is just doing it bc they are in a contest to bang the fattest girl
You think they'd ask my permission before turning Pajamarama into an orgy. I saw too many of my friends dicks at once the door got kicked down.
i just remembered i chipped my tooth last night when i pulled up your pants zipper with my teeth
We ate a mysterious delivered pizza which no one ordered and then the wii wouldn't work so 20 of us watched porn on two laptops. Drunk took the awkward away.
I got a dollar bill stuffed into my bra on two separate occasions by two separate guys simply for having boobs. I feel like somewhere god is patting himself on te back while pointing at me goin "you're welcome dude." easiest two bucks I ever made.
It was so weird. She left to go to the bathroom and her older sister leaned towards me with a creepy smile and said, "You don't deserve her" and then continued to stare at me with a crazy expression for the rest of the evening.
That's kinky shit dude.
Great night. I'm in the middle of explaining to her how the stock market works and she just rips my pants off and starts blowing me. Nerdiest blowjob ever.
You need to stop thinking about the needs of your vagina and concentrate on the greater good
Just FYI....you totally yelled out Royals while we were having sex last night lol.
I'm going to go ahead and refrain from sexting you in an airport that is currently at a "level orange" security threat.
Same way I cope with everything else. With dildos, dunkin and depeche mode
Randomize
