forget your mom, you can see her anytime. A one night stand only happens ONE night.
the mole on his forehead could get me off better than his dick
please tell me you have proof of this
So i've def seen the girl running for student body VP getting fingered in a bar.
Nothing on google about my condom issue. However, if you get a chance google: condom with teeth.
im downtown. alone. lost. drunk. dressed as santa. dont find me. i just heard someone say mechanical bull.
He tried to eat me out in the bath... I said it was a bad idea, but he said it was good snorkelling practice for vaca.
He's bringing condoms over for me in case we "bone".... the fact he calls it boning is not a great start.
Seriously though a big penis is like a puppy dog, or a sunny day or some other glorious thing
You are such a penis elitist
I've found a new low. I was climb-on-the-bar-piano drunk.
Pretty sure the guy I hooked up with Saturday gave me a buy one get one free coupon for chipotle. Who said nice guys don't exist?
Idk I'm drinking Sam Adams and wearing new balances so I'm basically a dad
Dude, she set my Tinder preference to men, set the radius to 100 miles, and used up all of my right swipes. I think she's mad.
Needless to say, I did not go home with him cause he kinda resembled a guppy fish.
Apparently during my blackout I walked over to Troy, grabbed my crotch, and said “Eat Fresh” while his GF was with him. FML
There’s a stripper dressed like a slutty pilgrim. Is that a thing?
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