If my vagina had boots, it would be shaking in them.
Coffee is gods way of saying go ahead, get absolutly trashed on weeknights, I got your back
My gift to the freshman: I made an illegal stop, rolled out and dropped to my hands and knees and puked in front of the south campus dorms and about 20 families. Welcome to OSU
his cum tasted like old pizza and looked like old milk
while you were getting the key to the dorm from the lobby i was giving a drunk monolog to the security camera about my life
I got my parents high. They've been watching spongebob for six hours. You cannot tell me I'm not the favorite
We ended not having sex. I didn't want to explain that I was wearing a Unitard because all my socks and underwear were dirty.
Someday, but I will be heavily drugged and there will be no dolphins.
We are gunna have the best winter break smoking weed and eating ham
You would be so proud at how green we're being. Re-using last night's jello shot containers.. saving the world one step at a time
I think I have to break up with him. I just cried, not moaned, screamed, etc, cried, with tears of sadness and disappointment when I came.
Why did I wake up in bed with the ironing board and a Mariah Carey mask? Vodka hates me
It's just not St. Patrick's Day until someone pukes on your panties.
So high that I just walked into class, late, sat down in my desk, and tried to buckle my seatbelt.
You seem like the type to go to a craft sale baked out of your mind. I like you.
Randomize
