I just drove by a church. On the sign out front was written 'crocodile cock'. On both sides.
at FSU your more likely to get an STD than a parking spot
if hell is full of stilettos, fake tans, bleached hair, overused make-up, drawn out s's and blatent bitchiness, then i'm in hell right now.
Lol welcome to greek life
dude smells like cheese burgers and loose women...... i want his life
Saved By The Bell: The College Years had it waaaay wrong on that one.
I decided to buy a keg of Miller Lite instead of paying the electric bill. Just thought I'd give you a heads up...
She gave me a rubber ducky to make me feel better while I was throwing up.
You're like my zumba instructor for alcoholism right now
Thanks for your number, i want to ski with you, do party with you and sleep with you. Lucas.
My arms are hairy. And so Is my left leg. Just my left leg, the right is smooth.
cool, get new shit, I dnt want the same old if it's my last drink ever
The world isn't ending you idiot. I'll grab beer
The airport has the best people watching and munches... It should be a destination drinking location
My pants zipper is stuck halfway down. I have to interview an intern later. This day is gonna be amazing,
Some how my underwear was hanging from the antlers of a antelope head on the wall of the hotel........
If my one night stand asked me to move in with him right after does it still count as a one nighter?
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