Crosby and Malkin: Two girls, one cup.
Why are there hot girls at the dollar store?
The recession has changed everything man.
You got so drunk you kept singing the Sailor Moon theme song and kept making everyone call you Sailor Venus.
when does it stop being whiskey dick and start just being me bad in bed?
She tried to lure me back to her house by saying she had "real" pizza.
Hey just to warn you theres a really fat guy passed out in front of our front door snoring. Don't touch him, he's in god's hands now.
Well, love is in the air. And by that I mean: it seriously smells like sex in here.
OMG bikini contest at the bar. You can see this one chicks scar from her c-section and I'm pretty sure she is the best of the bunch.
I am trying to think of a way to tell him about thanksgiving and the following weekend in a way that makes me sound funny and exciting and not like an alcoholic
She said she'd heard about my nickname in high school. Apparently sledgehammer isn't as popular as you'd believe...
to drive Frat boys away, one just needs to cat-call at them. It makes their masculinity weaker, and yours stronger.
We laughed, we cried, we fucked, we shirked our familial and work related responsibilities. They could make a movie about the last 40 hours of our lives.
Just let me pee on you and I'll leave you alone.
I think I need practice at oral sex
I own a practice facility.
You ran the halls of the dorm naked handing out condoms. You were the sex fairy. Best you can do if you're not getting laid.
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