I found the orange juice, it was hiding in the vodka...trickster.
she was on her period so I asked if she wanted to make ass babies
The fact that I pulled something plastic out of my mouth after taking that shot is starting to concern me.
I'm so glad I got to use the word gutterslut before 11:00a today.
My dog just threw up a condom. Sorry for accusing you of not wearing one, I found it now.
if Anne Taylor knew what she did in her clothes, she'd be banned from the store.
oh come on, it's the perfect length summer dress to blow a stranger in the bathroom in
three guys with a tattoo of the Walmart rollback smiley holding up a middle finger on their ass=free drinks in every bar
He kept asking for nudes so I sent him a picture another guys dick. He called me ruthless.
He was so drunk and proud of his 6-month-gym-results he actually made me touch his whole naked body.
MESSY REBOUND SEX HERE I COME! Time to start stretching to fit in my back seat again ...
too bad we didn't bet. my 38-1 tears would have made great lubrication for a blow job.
I just brought her a lipstick taser. So just remember that the next time you get smart with her
I've broken 3 vibrators in the past month because I apparently am "too rough" with them. Is that even possible?!
She started crying because the Rugrats grew up
Like sorry your dick won’t suck itself?
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