Will you take my knitting needle, stick it far up my nose, reach in my frontal lobe and give it a few swirls?
I told her it just looked small because my balls were gigantic. She bought it.
when she was cumming she looked like terri schiavo. it took all of my memorized porn images to not go limp.
I can tell how much and what I drank by my morning shits
he showed me his boner with his cell phone light during the movie.
I bought a fake diamond ring to wear, not only to bars to keep the creeps away, but so that I'll be judged less by the front desk girl at Planned Parenthood
well at least you didnt have sex with him. i feel like a proud mother. you always have sex with them.
just so you know... i was wasted last night, but the evening is coming back to me in flashes... i made you eat gravy last night, didn't i?
Some chick just tried to plug her vodka into the wall.
I think it got a little awkward for her when my dad walked in on us and did nothing except leave half of his pizza on the table for us.
That sucks about the drama. But hey, it's always a good day when you see someone get tazed!
Either of you know why the shower was on and the bathroom door wide open with no one in there at 6 in the morning?
He took initiative. Dragged me into the kitchen and did me on the stove....while it was on! And then we made nachos.
It seems that Coffee is the true alpha male.
Then you guys just all showered together...?
Randomize
