Blackout barefoot maybe pregnant
Good decisions....
Just got blue box Mac and cheese things are looking up
so i am drinking whiskey and watching home alone 2 by myself. it turns out moving to a foreign country isn't all that different after all.
do you ever think like no deep thought could take place in the spanish language? like all they talk about is like tacos?
how high are you?
don't ever try to run hungover. just puked mid-run in front of an old couple that were going for a walk. they were horrified.
Went to use to bathroom and walked in on karaoke. Two girls singing "a whole new world" to each other in the shower. I'm gonna miss this place in the summer
I drank butter last night, who am I to judge?
Robert just walked in drunk, grabbed my Jameson from me, told me to let him do his thing, and spilled it all over the coffee table. Then he told me to grab a funnel because he was going home.
easter 2014 is on 4/20 THIS IS NOT A DRILL YOUR FAMILY WILL EXPECT YOU TO BE HOME AND SOBER I REPEAT THIS IS NOT A DRILL
Also this is super embarrassing but sorry for licking your chest
I'm content with our "friends with accidental benefits" situation.
Uhh I just had to break up with a guy who I didn't even know I was dating...
Officially locked in my status as an indifferent millennial by downloading Tinder.
If walking through the neighborhood with a bottle of tequila and margarita mix is postgrad life, I'm okay with it
you scattered cereal all over the floor so you could "re-trace your steps and figure out what happened." 20 min later you yelled about the mess and let the dog in to clean it up. 5 min after that you screamed since the cereal was gone. you suspected me and locked me in the bathroom so i could "think about what i'd done"
and you bit everyone who tried to let me out. no more tequila for you. EVER.
The smell of pee and coconut conditioner still makes me think of him
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