His pickup line was "I'll eat you out"
He did it well too
I'm sorry but I have to break up with you. My wife is pregnant and can't have a girlfriend too.
Februarys looking very promising in the vaginal department
We're doing it in the traditional way of discussing why we dislike each other while sharing a bowl. Just like the natives do.
I'm at the hospital waiting for my sister to push out her kid. I think I'll roam the halls and shame all the teenage mothers.
I'm going as either a recovering alcoholic, or as a guy who came to the party straight from work. Too literal?
Downside to Halloween: you can't tell if the guy dressed as Gene Simmons from KISS that keeps flirting with you is hot or not...I decided to err on the side of caution and assume not...
They said you bought the guy a shot and was talking about being Greek and then all of the sudden just puked all in their pitcher of beer and got kicked out of the bar.
So some drunk guy just tried to convince me with all of his passion that bacon is a color
We peed together in a dark alley while holding hands. That is a bond that can never be broken.
You also once spent an entire hour explaining the origin of the strip steak to me.
I just need you to stay far enough away that I can't smell your cologne. I completely forget that I fucking hate you as soon as I smell it.
Have you ever gotten so angry that you stripped in public?
I've got five complains from the landlord about she being too loud during sex in two weeks I'm marrying her
theres a canoe in our lawn. we dont own a canoe.
it was the only safe place
Randomize
