Am I allowed to make my facebook status "loves farting in chairs"? I think it would shock every boy that I am friends with.
I should have known there'd be issues when he included "beautiful soul" in our playlist
woke up naked, gf gone. There is a cup of change in the fridge, a bird in the bathroom, and odie is drawn on my ceiling. I live in a non sequitur
According to last night if you on the sidewalk at 12 a|m\nYour a WHORE !
M WATCHING THE HISTORY CHANNEL AND IT SAID THAT WHEN THE LUST PART OF THE BRAIN IS ACTIVATED THE JUDGEMENT PART IS NOT. THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
My shirt is ruined. If I ever get the idea of doing a tequila shot through my nose ever again, shoot me.
i also took my stockings off in the bathroom and blew my nose with them in the cab ride home. james was appalled
I swear some just paged for more cock rings over the intercom.
Last night you told me you "were too high" and didn't deserve a hashbrown.
Idk she didn't seem that weird to me but I had just eaten an entire tray of jello infused with liquor so I could be wrong...
I could see myself being this awkward weirdo drunk girl that patted strangers and danced terribly but was powerless to stop it
How does one acquire holy water?
He's so sweet...I can't see him enjoying that I got injured during sex.
You know the force is loosing strength when Darth Vader can't handle his liquor on halloween.
I’m at that point in my trip where I’m kinda hot, kinda cold and I have to remember to breathe.
Randomize
