Blowing lines off from the book where the wild things are... bad babysitter?
My cousin's wedding had personal beer funnels for each table and a drinking game against the bride and groom. im sorry for ever calling you white trash
I never thought that I'd hear someone utter the words, "I need another studded belt." I was wrong.
Dude before you bang that chick preheat the oven to 425 I wanna make a pizza for afties
still finding ketchup in my shoes. thanks to graduation that is probably the last time ill ever say that..
I think the world is coming to an end. Earthquakes, huricanes, floods, and now you say you LOVE him. Im building a shelter and going into hiding.
The worst decision I made last night was allowing myself to be duct taped to the ceiling
I need more social interactions that don't involve sex
The fact that it was "anything but a cup" now explains the cowboy boots and fishbowl aftermath at the apartment.
Dude, I just hit your nipple with a bottle of lube while you were wearing a shirt, 10 feet away without my glasses and I only have "not bad" aim?
He's gonna be so upset when he get's a real job and can't do serious drugs.
Do you think there are other mothers looking at porn in the carpool line?
Let us rub each other in fish scales and become mermaids
Just took an Adderall with Pedialyte so I think that's a valid answer to "how are you doing"
Lunch?
Massage?
Spanking with handcuffs?
Randomize
