Making out with married ex girlfriends: priceless
non applicator tampons are so hard to put in when your drunk. i fingered myself for 10 minutes and forgot what i was trying to do.
just saw a girl come out of the tanning bed room on crutches, now thats determination
at the resort hottubing with french twins, who brought champange. this should be a postcard.
You can't have your penis and eat it, too.
2pm: Breaking news alert: I think I'm finally sober. Oh, and that place needs hotter strippers.
I'll be there in 5 min. If not, read this again.
I'm sure I'm not the FIRST newly single girl to table dance at a family restaurant.
Sorry my moustache came off because I was face first in a layered bucket full of jello shots.
You helped blow my nose... Ok it's safe to say we are on a new level of relationship..
I think curling is the best thing to watch when you're baked.
he told me he liked me . I thought we were just fuck buddies . This ruins everything!
He's perfect in every other way. Is buying him a cockring too forward or just honest?
how do i say "cradle the balls" in Italian
Is 10AM too early for pizza and Dr. Pepper?
Only if 5PM is too early to be drunk. And when has that ever stopped us?
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