Dude I can't believe you let me go home with the wildabeast lastnight.
You always hook up with hot girls we had to know you were mortal
ignore voicemail. the cock hath been unblocked.
Going back to college after four years is reminding me why i love cheating... they dont let me cheat on tests but they sure try hard to make me cheat on my girl
Can you imagine it being physically possible any other way unless the cows are unnaturally flexible
I just want a better ending for myself. Not walking around with one sock on and my bush hanging out.
More importantly this is sex weather and i am striking out
Yeah I went home with her... She had me take off everything but my shirt and from across the room goes, "Now dance. Just dance that dick over here"
fucked a girl in Bentley hall at ten tonight, came on the carpet and I plan on doing it in another building soon. Watch where you walk
Drank for free all night and I'm not even sleeping w the bartender. What is this magic?
List 10 things your GF won't do for you, and we can work through that list.
he was high. i was rolling face. we were both wearing grateful dead t shirts. at that point it's like we had no choice but to fuck
all of these bad things happened because I didn't bring a shower beer.
He just texted me asking for his shirt back and I said I didn't have it and then I ran into him 5 minutes later while wearing the said shirt
I was really excited when I saw a billboard for neverbethirsty.org this morning. Then I realized it was for a church.
He said he doesn't "believe" in cuddling. Can you come get me?
Randomize
