I need Christmas break to be over. I'm tired of fucking my old High School girlfriends
you gave the police officer your chanel wallet and said 'just keep it the i.d. is fake too'.
You love me.
That's because, tragically, I adore whores.
Appropriately today was the first time I've ever GTL'd. I can't believe I made fun of this,it's rather relaxing.
I think you can do her, she seemed pretty set for revenge the second time her boyfrind high fives her in the face.
When u wake up, don't be alarmed by the passed out mariachi band, they're cool. Muchos gracias
Is it going to be one of those nights where I shouldn't wear my contacts so everyone looks more attractive?
Just the amount of girls he locked himself in my room woth says your gonna have to take a cab bro. I don't think he's going anywhere
why is there a broken handcuff locked to the ceiling fan
Just applied for assistance with paying my hospital bill from my alcohol poisoning at age 16 while still a little drunk from last night. What is my life.
Circle of life?
Also, lets remember that we have known each other for nearly a decade and our two most recent photos to one another are boxes of plan b
Like, yea, let's talk sexy but also...LOOK! I SAW A CAT!
Atleast we had sex on the couch before your ex took it from you
I'm not totally useless... You can use me as an example of what not to do
My house exploded and with it all my pot went up in smoke.
Randomize
