Do you still have your period?
I am now Facebook friends with Donkey Lips from Salute Your Shorts
My dick has been asking about u. He said he didn't do anything wrong n I'm a dumbass
threw up during christmas carols. the audience at the church seemed to immediately know i was a college student
i cleaned out my closet and found 7 beers from 2007. ive had 3 so far.
Just come over and take your pants off. 35 mins tops. You'll be home before midnight cinderella
You probably don't remember. You were drunk and getting your tits drummed on like haitian bongos in a voodoo ritual.
Dude, you were so wasted she couldn't wait. She was grinding your face while you were passed out in the yard.
Remember that time I sent you a 5lb bag of gummie bears?
Like it was yesterday.
Apparently I had it on auto deliver. So whoever is at your apt is gonna gen an interesting delivery...
My mom just told me not to dance on any tables on Halloween...I'm choosing to take that statement as a joke
You're just a heartbreaker with a knitting problem
Your roommates will be treating you to many anecdotes about my intentions to have aggressive sex with you. I'm sorry in advance.
The Lion King Is on YouTube
Until 2 minutes ago I actually had a chance to pass my midterms... thanks alot
Apparently I repeatedly thanked the paramedic for saving the "happy new year" beads i was wearing. that bad.
So random question: what's a good way to tell your brother that his Skype sex kept you awake last night? I'm not really sure how that conversation begins.
Randomize
