Don't come here someone got drunk and rolled the keg to buger king. no more beeer
Omg. I just woke up in a room full of naked people
he was so excited that he found the elusive clitoris. i was like look christopher colombus, just because you found it doesnt mean you knew what to do with it
stop changing my ringtone to people fucking, it looks bad at work
you puked out of a dead sleep and didnt wake up
Dude totally calling you out on watching when harry met sally on netflix on demand on april 8th.
Her grandmother had a handicap stair lift. I just put her drunk ass on it and let her ride it up. Thank God for broken hips.
Maybe it was that imaginary ghost dick you were stuffing in your mouth a minute ago
Just copped mushrooms from a dude in a business suit. U comin or what?
Nothing but goodness could come from two friends getting naked. Think of all the good advice and other things we could give to each other.
Dude, I work in two hours. Unless you can find Chris Hemsworth and convince him to have a three-way with us, I'm not getting out of bed.
Yupp. He's definitely a screamer.
Why do we always have to be the people who get blamed for animal intoxication incidents?
he's like crack. I can't be in the same room with him while drunk and not do him.
She blew me while I watched the jets game and the hardest thing was deciding what to focus on more
Randomize
