But I don't consider them one night stands. They're auditions.
I just saw Sharon Stone's cootch in high def. I think I'll stay gay.
Some guy on the train just glared at me. So I'm drinking tequilla out of a dixie cup. Go fuck yourself.
I was sitting behind this girl in class and she logged out of her facebook, hacked into her boyfriends, and then proceeded to check his inbox. This is why I'm single.
That can be our thanksgiving, vodka and cornbread. Just like the pilgrims.
And it was confirmed to me that I did in fact cut my girlfriend out of her dress with my sword.
I'm more concerned with the fact that he was UNconcerned that live poultry could peck him in the nutsack @ any moment of sex
I got my project done and a booty call in all before 1am. I'm a professional college kid.
You told me "I need to pound this drinks if I'm going to pretend his dick is big enough" then left. Dollar night quotes 2012
Just so you know, your wedding is in the same place I gave my first bj.
Eight drinks in. Subject is fondling chips before eating them. Intoxicated texting has expanded from best friend to random guy I met in FBLA.
I'll pay you back with progressively deviant sexual favors.
No, next time he offers you a ride home, ask him about Batman. The result will always be road head.
I'm sexting with a 20 year old that has a foot fetish... This is what Sailor Jerry drives me to do.
Bahahah I should. I’m the free range drunk girl who should clearly not be free range because who knows what kind of fuckery I would get into
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