Full bush! Can't stay! Need ride! Come on bro!
Not only is chick snoring like a 48 year old man but she's farting in rhythm
i sneezed during and he said it felt like i gave birth to his dick...then asked me to do it again.
I wiped a tear off her cheek with my boner. It cheered her up
Washing the last semen-stained shirt you have really solidifies a breakup. It just got real.
based on the size of her vibrator, i'm going to be a huge disappointment
We had break up sex twice. He said one was cause he had to say goodbye to both tits.
Rolled in at 3:30am from the strip club, with all the screaming I did, Siri doesn't even recognize my voice this morning,
Hello. You don't know me, but word on the street is that we are now eskimo sisters. I feel like we should go out for coffee and compare experiences.
Young lesbians are the worst. And also what got me through high school, sooooo
i just found a red feather stuck to my penis and i really wanted to send you a picture but too much
Man, I meant to go dancing, but accidentally took mushrooms and just threw the frisbee in the park
Surprise ending
If it makes you feel any better they literally are drinking alcohol out of a toilet. They are serving drinks out of a nasty ass toilet...!
I walked in on him jerking it to videos of UFC fighters. The most awkward part: he didn't stop when I walked in.
you tried to strip tease your way into canada but got arrested instead. don't worry, your mom doesn't know.
Randomize
