Taylor Swift is so right about you.
would you object to me following you around all the time with a video camera and selling it to TV? Your life could make me millions.
Instead of asking if I had a condom she literally said " I'm not on the pill but I'm pro choice... your move"... I'm in love
We were drinking cognac with TAB. I felt like trailer park royalty.
then you said,"Take this damn cabbage!" although it was actually your shirt. i found you in the elevator of his building.
This means I've slept with 2 ppl that live in vans...my life is complete
I just got the two most enjoyable things in life in one... Weed delivered in bubble wrap.
My mom just walked in and saw a picture of his penis. She then asked me "Do you even have a cervix left?!" I don't know what to feel anymore HA
Yeah well that's a good thing right? Like mothers approval? Kinda like a Fathers blessing but. . . better?
I am so sorry for drunk texting you r kelly lyrics
i just need to find someone who enjoys eating frozen waffles as much as I do. It will be perfect.
Also lets pinky promise right now that we will NOT play "Pony" outside of each other's rooms if we have a hook up over
It's not even 8:30a, wine glass is broken, there's sugar everywhere, and your mom just asked me what MILF means.
Idk I think he's weird but he's also from Wisconsin so that might have something to do with it.
I did something very bad. More specifically, my boss.
are you still up? I want to use you for sexual things. you have 35 minutes to respond to this offer.
Randomize
