don't go home with that guy from jersey
i know, not worth the blood test
The paper boy just woke me up in the front yard again.
We dont have to go to dinner or anything gay like that. I just wanna do it.
I absolutely love you.
On a scale of one to Chris Brown, how angry are you?
i cant wait for all this BS that is happening with Tiger to happen to Tebow
You were dancing on the bar and fell off into the arms of the hot bartender. It was like a fairy tale, with more alcohol.
I told my mom I had sex with him and even SHE was proud. Now that's saying something.
Had to immediately delete the Bevmo email because I can't even look at an email about alcohol right now.
Nothing says Panama City like condoms washing up on the shore.
So Bodhi just sent me a pic of someone's balls with a message that says "I hope you all have a ballin' night." I don't even know what level of friendship to call this anymore.
Oh my god.
The ballsiest level.
It's always great when the guy I get pills from sends me an email that says "I know you will get clean it's going to be hard but I know you can do it"
The uber man and I sat in silence. With my underwear in my purse and my dress shoved in the pocket of the hoodie the guy gave me.
When dealing with embarassing medical issues, don't you want your brother's wife to be the one fishing around up your ass?
I'm just now realizing I've slept with guys from three different decades over the past year. That's gotta be some sort of record.
you missed a good time last night.
you texted me at 10 telling me to come fuck you, that says enough.
Randomize
