i just dont know how to see an unattractive person as more than a friend
I guess i tried to text 911 last night with "someone stole my bong." Thank god that doesn't work...
The duggars are the reason premarital sex is ok. Because if you don't have it until marriage you have no self control when it happens. And 19 kids.
He made a note in his iPhone tonight so that he would remember that I rejected him.
For future reference, even the most well-intentioned game of whiskey pong is a terrible idea.
Theres was an instant understanding between us being drunk on the trampoline at four in the morning and the people walking down the road at the same time
You can't say "they have anal bleaching for that" and then just hang up
So I walk in and he's teaching someone in London via Skype how to roll a blunt. I have new found respect for him.
It was relaxing until your penis crawled in my ear.
Found out last night that "Everclear" is Spanish for "shit got weird"...
Just got escorted to my 7:45 class by an old woman because I was too hungover to not realize I was four floors too high.
You are under a naked attack watch for the whole weekend. Shelter in place.
fyi, pepper spray hurts. whoever comes up with the best backstory wins a prize.
The chances of me making out with someone next weekend are about the same as me not remembering it.
I told ya. I'm super awesome at making things super awkward. I'm the Awkwardnator.
Randomize
