My balls are about to become a huge part of your mouth's life
he recorded me cumming with the t-pain app on his iphone
just woke up in a hotel room.. realizing its the hotel i work at.. lets see how this walk of shame turns out
this chick on a show just showed her boobs and let some guy paint them others asked why she did it and her reply i quote "i was bored" why dont chicks get bored more often
I went back up to the apartment to get her phone and when I came back she was peeing on the sidewalk
No, this time she was diabetic. I think I fucked her into diabetic shock.
i feel like this needs to be a 'lose some teeth' kind of weekend.
underwater hpnotiq shots? sure why not.
I'm lowering my standards just so I can get laid, but I draw the line when a guy spells cool kewl
Being invited to eat tater tots at 1:30am by a rly hot girl then actually only eating tater tots is a major let down. Tasty, but still a let down
He's bought his dick a cell phone. A cell phone. For his dick...
He gave me the number and told me that I if I want to hook up again, I have to call his penis.
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
Using mass transit when I'm hungover makes me feel like I missed my calling as a serial killer
I reek of vagina.. My cab driver commented.
I also need to get my life together but instead I just eat spoonfuls of Nutella. We can't win 'em all
Randomize
