these burps are starting to have way more vomit in them,
God I'm so bored. I wish I had a baby or something to play with.
And this is exactly why you should NEVER have kids.
O.A.R does not stand for Old Recycled Abortions.
Apparently shes in the bathroom puking but eating a pot roast she found in the fridge at the same time.
I am currently in the waffle making stage of highness
you know that dress I got margarita and puke on? yeah, just returned it.
What happens at the gay bar stays at the gay bar. Except that I sold my panties for $100. People should know that.
I've already made the "blackout on move in day" decision
how is it that I keep meeting up with you when Im drunk?
you stand on my porch screaming my name until I come out with you...
Call me and get me out of this conversation NOW. My coworker is talking to me about her birds having sex again...
Also a shrinking boner emoji would be helpful
Hell no. Last time I used a Slip N Slide I ended up with bruised ribs, a broken fence and the hatred of a half naked girl with a sprained wrist.
If there's a nuclear war you can come over. I'll feed you soup and you can rig up car batteries to power the coffee pot and toaster. We can grow tomatoes and chickens.
Would the comment "Down Goes Frasier" be too inappropriate at this time?
Grandma had me open the boxes that were delivered today. She got a sex swing, I've settled on "You go girl" as my official reaction.
Randomize
