Just because we had intercourse doesn't mean we're friends.
right before he came he said "im ganna fill your stocking" nothing like holiday spirit!!
yes we did fuck in his chapter room. yes it was demeaning. and yes, they probably will discuss it at chapter tonight.
The bouncer was kicking me out and I put up my finger for him to wait while I chugged the rest of my drink..all he could say is "are you serious right now?"
the thought 'we cant do it, we're in a public place' crossed my mind, and then I realized he's succeeding if he's trying to domesticate me.
elevator sex. pronto.
After you vomited on the patrol car, you thanked the officer for helping you up off the ground. I don't think you realized you were being arrested.
in a thick russian accent she said "im not so good with english, much better with dick"
Dude, you sent that text at 9:44 AM. Who thinks of drugs that early?
Yesterdays boozy weather forecast has been extended to today
Lets play hurricane shelter. And the shelter is my bed, and we forgot our clothes.
I was thirsty after the sex and it was a long trek back to res so naturally I stole chocolate milk from his fridge as I left
SOS YOU NEED TO TAKE THE CANDY PANTIES OUT OF THE GLOVE COMPARTMENT BEFORE MOM TAKES MY CAR
i feel like ive seen the light, but not in the nasty christian way. thats gross. say no to jesus, kids
She caught me by google maps... Lets just say it wasnt her car in front of the house.
What? I'll do just about anything if you give me a sticker.
Randomize
