just wrote on a church. and then stalked a boy, by the way, i fucked him. him being your friend, also, love tacos.
i friday night watching house. god, i need a life, friends, and a legitimate fake id.
im so sorry the vomit froze your passenger door shut... you should have stopped.
deryk tried to steal your screen door and i think sam and brent are duct taping lauren to the diving board.
I need to cry about outer space to someone. Can I call you?
We're stealing the mannequin. He's my new swimming partner.
I don't want to die alone with cake watching shows about cake
He was saying things like "cum for me like a good girl" and "put my entire python I like to call a dick in your mouth" .. Okay I might have changed that one a bit
We're having play-off hate sex for a sport I don't even understand. Go USA!
I probably won't go. Last time I got drunk with those guys I just started demanding people let me touch their beards.Then I mocked everyone who didn't have facial hair.
So that advice that humming stops you from puking? Yeah no, just puked through my nose.
Please don't tell me that blonde guys name is Matthew I won't be able to fuck a guy with my brothers name
So i came so hard i almost passed out, where has this vibrator been all my life?
Well shit I mean if you get a bunch of cashed up drunk lesbians together in a casino, it's bound to go south at some point
I just upped my southern womanhood. Taking whiskey and Kleenex pocket packs to the funeral.
Randomize