guy picked up a cops taser, thing shot him in the neck, he went down and pissed himself, cop started laughing and hasnt called an ambulance.
You do realize that we bought beer at 9:30 in the morning to avoid sobering up. Stupidity was bound to follow.
Something's wrong. Everything's on fire. Unless it was like that before. Then everything's alright.
Climbing through a window thats four feet off the ground isnt the easiest thing when youre high, trust me.
I said:" get your jacket, get your beer and get the fuck out of here"
Firing someone with a rhyme is the new high point in my life.
You have a roommate and cry when you see my dick
A duck just looked me in the eye whilst I peed in a lake. I feel so dirty.
i need to un-sleep with a few of those brothers before we ever go back to that house again. i'm serious. i will not be a fraternity groupie.
Blocking me on Facebook doesn't change the fact that you've had my penis in my mouth. So there's that.
Do you think I need to report to HR that the intern and I had butt sex?
You're finding a boat, I'm going to sleep with a guy that lives above a bar and has 24 hour access. We are really nailing this adulting thing
My uncle showed up to pick us up at the bar just as I bought a drink so I put it in my pocket #drunksmart
My liver is screaming fuck you right now.
This bitch goes out driving during the nor'easter to get her ass eaten.. that’s dedication
There was puke outside of my classroom and lecture was half empty. Damn thirsty thursday is intense
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