Pre-pickelized cucumber-hand invasion!! RUN!!!!!!!!!!
Is it morally objectionable to repay my debt to society with drug money?
she burped and cried multiple times. it was like i was getting head from a baby.
So as she is about to take the walk of shame she flips out. Apparently someone left a brown present in her shoes.
He just slept in my bed for a couple hours and asked lots of questions about gay sex. No, I do not have his number.
I took us ten minutes to realize the shower sex going upstairs was the reason the kitchen ceiling was flooding.
I'm really really gonna try not to at least one night. The 4 day thanksgiving bender almost killed me last year
I feel that shower jager is exactly what this man needs after last night.
You're a disgrace to gay men everywhere.
Haha he puts me in a mood mix of annoyed and... "just get in my pants"
I have my vibrator between my thighs and I'm listening to high school musical. That kind of high. We're all in this together.
I'm wandering around outside asking things if they are god
I need to stop acting like a porn star that isn't getting paid
He was fingering me and I came so hard that I actually broke his wrist. We're at the ER now.
It's taking all of my will power not to chug this margarita. This must be the life of an adult...
I just found out through a drunken phone call that my parents thought I'd grow up to be a porn star. It's kind of scary how accurate they were at how skilled I'd be at sex.
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