whats the weirdest thing you ever masturbated to?
King Triton
He was legit dry humping me to the sportscenter theme song, awkward i think SO.
I woke up with a picture of my dick as my background. still wondering if it was a good night or not.
i awoke yet another morning with penis breath. ive been so generous santa has to bring me a shit ton of presents
I heard a loud ass thump and then I saw both dogs coming around the corner.... Without him. I went to check out what happened and the dogs apparently pulled him down onto his face, knocking him out.
he told me not to treat him like a child and then started peeing off the trampoline
She poured a bottle of rum in the champagne fountain, did like 5 jello shots at the same time, then lit herself on fire. Twice. This is how everyone should turn 21.
That's actually a fantastic idea... The kinky sex dungeon will be vastly improved by the addition of a lightsaber
Seriously-without actually meaning the statement for it's words- that made me want to put a baby in you.
Ordered a pizza stoned. The guy handed me my pizza and I tried to pay him by handing him back the pizza.
Can't really tell your Mom you are moody due to dick deprivation.
I stole the butter cup cuz i brought home my rolls and chicken and didnt want the butter everywhere. I miss your body because its amazing.
You're going to love the baby's room.
I doubt it. I can't have sex there anymore. That severely limits the appeal of the room to me.
You tried to chase every shot with a blueberry.
This whole brainwashing thing is easy!
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