y-o-u-r-e = you are, y-o-u-r = your. you are a bag of douche not your bag of douche. if you're going to insult me at least do it in proper english. that is all.
you smelled like vodka, i think that's why my grandma liked you
I shouldn't have to say "get your balls off my counter" on a Wednesday.
Do you knowwwwww you never ha to pee while lhr on eztacy
Did you see the video of me eating a marshmellow on fire?
Dude, chad is laying across the room, violently, passionately, pornographicly eating something and I seriously think the 'some thing' is fighting back.
At least one of us had a weekend full of money and dick
Send help, water and tortillas.
He will be forever remembered as "birthday failure" ...Got him to pierce his tongue in my bathroom, but not sleep with me......
Beat the bartender in a shot challenge for a free tab. I won that, and him. I never get tired of the "this is my first time with a guy.." bullshit.
How do you even...
The magic of Christmas. And whiskey, of course.
In 18 months of being married we've had sex with 7 different couples. Who said you can't have your cake and eat it.
Last night was like blooper reel sex. He dropped me!!
I have no clue how you survived last night but I applaud you. 21 body shots off 9 bodies in under four hours has to be a record.
He spent three years trying to get a chance with me and finally broke me down. then he came in two minutes and was so upset he locked himself in the bathroom so I helped myself to his weed and left. Wanna get stoned?
Sorry. Im too sleepy to penis.
Randomize
