are u sure the monkey wasnt drunk too
the guy i hooked up with is asleep on our couch. please dont fuck him.
Smoked a bowl on a rollercoaster. Literally ON. Beat that.
my fart just smelled so bad i acutally gagged
just because you are now my girlfriend does not mean you can text me nasty shit
Some guy stole lobsters by hiding them in his pants. We should strive to be like him.
This whole night would have been avoided if the liquor store had air heads
They asked if I was about to puke and my response was to laugh and suddenly throw up. Continuing my asshole streak I kept laughing while still vomiting.
Hey that girl we tagged team last night invited me to her birthday on Facebook, remind me to be sick that day.
I'm an EMT, not a miracle worker. No, I can't fix your sprained dick.
Before he comes over remember the house standards. Ask yourself "will he stalk my sister or myself in the future?". If the answer is yes, then no, he isn't allowed.
Hold your horses dude. Titty pics are a work of art.
My penis has like 3 people bidding on it
She was drunk, dancing on the table. Until the table leg completely broke off and she fell on the ground and broke her front tooth straight off. Worse news is there making her pay for the table
You weren't singing into a microphone in front of an audience. You were screaming into your fist in the check-out aisle in Walmart.
Tell her that we understand the angle wasn't the best on the first video and that we forgive her.
Randomize
