I asked him if he wanted to go to my place, he said i could go but he was gonna stay
i just thanked the atm machine for giving me cash
She made me repeat after her: "I take responsibility for what I put in my own mouth."
gail simmons from food & wine magazine just heard me order my plan b pill
did you ask her what wine to pair it with?
i know we're in college but you cant booty call me at 3 in the afternoon. i dont care how drunk you are.
you ever feel like there is a sober person insided you pointing and laughing....?
we were totes just talking about. huu in the bathbub. 5 girlszzz
Thank god the bicycalist i hit was on drugs
currently pooping in a public restroom while drinking free beer. there has never been a finer line between awesome and depressing.
THAT IS NOT SOMETHING YOU TELL SOMEBODY THE FIRST TIME YOU MEET THEM IN THE DARK.
We're not on Beacon Street anymore so now your argument about not peeing on the sidewalk holds no water. Whereas my bladder has holded every water.
You can jump from the roof to the pool. Trust me. I have done this before.
It's a strange mix of shame and pride every time I pee at the bar and still see my lipstick on the bathroom wall...
I'm sad about how hungover I'm gonna feel tomorrow.
"I mean like shit happens" should never be an excuse for anything
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