once we finished he held up the condom and asked if i wanted to keep it as a souvenir.
oh and he was serious.
started her walk of shame as my mom and dad walked through my common room door...my dad held the door for her and told her to have a nice day
She is chewing on staples and spitting them at her cat, I think it's time to leave..
I don't want to smoke with her when she's on adderall. She carved her pumpkin for four hours & didn't say a word.
I wish we could tell the moving van to wait at the strip club for a while.
My vagina supports interfraternal relations
I vaguely remember having a 'grass is greener' conversation about our nipples. Dream or beautiful reality?
Beautiful, beautiful reality
OH MY GOD I CAN'T WAIT TO BONE YOUR EX BOYFRIEND. HOW AWKWARD IS THIS?
As far as drugs go, alcohol has all the elegance and precision of hitting yourself in the head with a hammer.
At one point I was waiting in line for the port o potties and a storm trooper came out of one and sprayed me in the face with a water gun
Like that actually happened I wasn't hallucinating
I don'y know if I should feel accomplished or disgusted. I just ate a dozen cookies all to myself. I'm leaning more towards accomplished.
no it was
but you compared your dick to a female disney character
ED guy's penis finally worked last night. It was a Festivus miracle!
I think I just read the whole internet. Front to back.
Jesus fuck. I just hit on him in front of the whole fire department. They hit the sirens and told us to get a room. FML. I can never go back to that fire station again...
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