we've reached the level in our friendship where i don't think he would rape me
It's 10am, I'm at grocery store buying booze b/c the bf just told me that he didn't "technically" break up with his ex.
So we were in the middle of hooking up when he stopped me. I thought he was having a moral dilemma about the whole having a girlfriend thing. But no. He got down on all fours, butt naked, and started throwing up and farting simultaneously. I took it as my cue to leave.
Its the Friday before break. There are 20 kids in my 300 person lecture hall. All with the same what the fuck am I doing here look on there face.
I told her i was enlisting in the air force tomorrow.....it was like the activation code to her vagina
It's refreshing to see you in something that is stained with something other than vomit and spilled alcohol.
I voted for him because his wife supports his raging sex life.
Aside from the fact that im drinking wine straight from the bottle to save doing dishes, im also standing in front of the oven to save turning on the heater. its gonna be a rough winter.
i woke up and found a picture of his grandma in my purse.. im a kelpto
He told me we were going to a cabin. It's just logs and a tarp made into walls. This night can go either way at this point.
I just did a booty-call caliber shave job in preparation for this weekend. Fuck being ladylike; I'm tryna get LAID-ylike
At a point I was just cumming dust last night
Fireball goes down like mother's milk. Btw your housemate is naked
we started drinking at 4pm, somehows its 1 am im in bathing suit running from the cops.....any explanation of what happened?
i just remember singing the theme song from 2 and 1/2 men to my hair
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