thus making me awesome and them whores
Situation: He got it in my eye, how long do I let it sting before should start to worry?
So can I buy you a drink sometime?
Sure, but make it a double, I'm drinking for two these days.
if i found out she had a dick after i got head, does that still make me gay?
The beers last night were like the tears from god
Well, love is in the air. And by that I mean: it seriously smells like sex in here.
I learned 3 things lastnight....1. Turkeys are related to the t-rex. 2. Whales have leg bones cause they used to walk. 3. I will sing drunk in the waffle house, but not during karaoke in the bar
My hair is crimped, I am walking with a roadie, and my vibrator is in my purse. I feel sorry for tomorrow.
Can't tonight. I'm supposed to get drugs for some college kids. Just doin my part in helping to enlight america's future
There's something very strange about masturbating in a hotel room. I feel like I'm cheating on my room...
he was high. i was rolling face. we were both wearing grateful dead t shirts. at that point it's like we had no choice but to fuck
My Easter dress smells like alcohol, men, and bad decisions
Good luck. While you're suffocating on a dick, I'll be eating pizza rolls. Being a good girl.
Let's celebrate our country being screwed by screwing.
my hair smells like a mixture of fireworks and rotten eggs with a hint of shame. it's so strong it's keeping me awake.
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