So explain to me again how you wake up next to a Brazilian model and I wake up next to a turkey sub? And a jar of grey poupon.
there should be a rule- if you jizz on it, you wash it
Fun fact: tonight on intervention was the guy who did my tattoo
I just got a 45 minute blow job...she literally sucked the single life outta me.
u sound so gay right now
I'm drinking Dom Perignon from the bottle with a straw just to piss of some french dude.
I think I'm on the verge of a really slutty period in my life
Still not exactly sure how i unbolted your toilet from the ground.
So I vote that we skip the bowling and just go straight to destroying our livers.
I just had the stunning realization that I lost my virginity in a bunk bed.
At 12:16 am. We just got out of the truck and went behind it and fucked. With 3 people in the truck. On the side of the road. As cars drove by.
Its honestly only a matter of time before I punch him in the face... I'll try to control myself until you guys break up
seriously considering getting an electric blanket rather than sleeping with guys this winter for warmth.
My mom just asked me if I knew what Buzzfeed was. Then said she's watching the second Magic Mike for the bodies. Please help.
All I'm saying is there better be a bow on your dick for my birthday
so my parents definitely heard me when I was cumming last night...
Randomize
