A big part of growing up is learning how to tastefully stare at women
Every one of her profile pictures looks like an ad for American Apparel. Of course she has syphilis.
For once I'm glad there wasn't morning sex. Yes, that sore from the night before.
his mom and i are swapping prescript pills..totally mother in law material.
Maybe someone other than the mad hatter should have gone with him to the ER
Walk of Shame today included voting.
They nicknamed me the gargoyle. Sex with me is getting gargoyled. The last one I fucked yelled "gargoyle me" for dirty talk. I think fucking me is part of their pledging initiation. Somewhat OK with this.
Writing apology letters and leaving them on peoples doors for your actions is NOT what I want to be doing at 6am.
i was driving around baked, windows down jamming to third eye blind and eating grapes for 35 minutes before i remembered why i left my house
I'm laying outside on my patio attempting to get sun with a puke bucket next to me... This is dedication to the tan my friend
I'm just sayin. If your gonna cheat go for someone TOTALLY different. Fucking her twin would be a waste.
My dream of watching a live dick sword fight might never be realized now. Currently sobbing, shots to follow
Just spent 10 minutes washing away my own puke. This gas station lady loves me.
You don't come back from leaving a bag of shit on someone's counter Jill
I just saw a guy in a zippo shirt buy 2 gallons of fire starter fluid and then proceed to smoke a cigarette. I feel like hes got some big plans for his tuesday.
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