people would bow to what i just did to her vagina
So I just watched the Lakers/Magic game so I could have something to talk about with him after we have sex this time
On this egg donor form, it asks "In the past 5 years, have you had sex for drugs or money?" It only gives a yes or no option and no place to explain myself. What do I do?
Just bought plan B with a coupon. Told the pharmacist I like to keep it classy.
Every day you talk to me ... I literally love you more..
wait a second. did i just remember you the other night referring to your tits as tia and tamara.....
I am a terrible person. This is almost as bad as when I was going to see my ex while my boyfriend was at that funeral.
He said he has something to give me... I swear to God if it's a joint or a framed picture of his penis i'm going to kill him
You did this to me with your delicious pizza and moonshine.
I'll forgive you once we're drunk again by noon.
You know this who 'I show my love by being a total dick' thing is getting old, right?
By the way seagulls wings are very soft. And the lesbian and or by sexual twins say hello. Be home in the little bit time frame.
She drunkenly dropped her ranch for her pizza. She tried to clean it up with her hands off the street then realized it didn't work and started licking her fingers.
I think clothing becomes optional at the second date! But you seem like a rule breaker
He's so in love with you that you could fuck a blood relative and he'd be like "I just want you to be happy"
My credit card got frozen due to suspicious activity. "Let's go over your recent transaction history... it looks like these are all at bars." BITCH, DON'T JUDGE MY MONDAY NIGHTS.
Is it weird that I was turned on when he told me he had a vasectomy?
I knew you two would hit it off
Randomize
