I wanna do crazy things to you in a tent
fuckk wrong person
.. who was that for? a girlscout?
i fucked some guy last night. i called him nick jonas by mistake. i'm 24.
I boned her and wore a Freddy mask once. It was pretty lol
just saw Chris Hanson on the street. looked immediately around for video cameras. why is that my immediate reaction?
It's just like the Real World with babies
Its pretty simple actually, if she texts me either Grr or Rawr it means she is horny and wants to bone. its a perfect system
God gave him joint rollers for hands
You thought last year was bad... a guy dressed as a clown showed up with cocaine
My Mom printed off all of my Augusts text messages. Apparently I've been drinking WAY too much and having an intermediate drug problem. I have to go home everyw weekend for the rest of the semester
I don't know bro, all I could remember is that he kept saying hallelujah and calling that girl Slutimus Prime
I shit you not ... they just advertised a recruiting service for strippers at this concert.
I ate the last cupcake. I'm sorry. It was in the refrigerator mocking me. So I ate it. And it was glorious. But I'm sorry.
Now that mom and dad sold the camper, do you think it's okay to talk about all the sex I had in it?
By NOT going to the gym, I'm helping my future. I don't want stripping, prostitution, or porn to be viable money making options.
I just want to have sex and eat dumplings. Is that so much to ask?
Randomize
