Let's get naked and see who's stronger.
I'm going to take the bottles back.. And maybe get an x-ray
Her bed looked like it had just hosted a water balloon fight. It was that good.
He wants to know how I lost my bra in his pants....id like to know too
I was just about to send a concerned text until I opened my door and saw a shopping cart. I'm glad you made it home in one piece and with toys.
I feel like death crawled up inside me and died. That sick
In my dream, you became a famous tap-dancer. Congratulations.
I can't put those talents on a resume
When he swipes my v card it will be comparable to my bat mitzvah. should I make sweatshirts or sweatpants?
I'm actually kinda upset that we didn't consider velcro-ing detachable capes to our clothes before this moment.
You don't come back from leaving a bag of shit on someone's counter Jill
Why is there a horse in the backyard?
I stayed at my gfs last night. This is all on you.
I don't know if I'm more disturbed by the fact that you hooked up with a dude with one arm, or that "hook up with a dude with one arm" was on your bucket list.
Our fake lesbian relationship is better than her real relationship. Bitch be jealous
THERE IS WATER LITERALLY DRIPPING OFF OF THE CHANDELIER. I OFFICIALLY HAVE THE WORLD'S WORST RAINFALL SHOWER HEAD.
Randomize
