my love horoscope just told me to "say it in frosting" should i take this literally?? i think yes.
Definitely saw about 20 people at my final that were never present before. It's like seeing who's gonna be serving me fries in 4 years.
tell me how a rose bowl party involves waking up to find a raccoon in my kitchen cabinet eating my oreos the next morning?
When you're on the hood of a car, 10 mph feels pretty fucking fast.
There I was staring at a teeny weeny black one and a huge white one. It was like an episode of Myth Busters
Ps. The strap-on in the pic i sent you last night was not mine. Just wanted to clear that up.
3 things. 1) we need alcohol 2) we need alcohol 3) we need tortilla chips. Let's make a plan. Bro shakes and salsa.
Call me old-fashioned, but I don't think the words, "Finger my ass" should find their way into casual conversation.
He insists on falling asleep with his penis between my buttcheeks. He says its his "home".
Beer and tomahawks! Not gonna end well!
this is the first time i'm angry at someone with so much boobs. she like managed to break my glass and my phone with one glorious swing
Some guys phone started vibrating on the tv. I answered mine. That's how high I am.
idk i just feel really unsatisfied. like something's missing from my life... maybe it's chicken nuggets...
IM FILLED WITH SANDWICHES AND SELF LOATHING
He ate me out while I stood on his bed drinking a Rainier.
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