Call me "white mamba"
Your dick is not a dangerous deadly poisonous snake
It is white.
I hate bills.
Like ones you have to pay or people named William?
Dude, you just left me a 3 minute voicemail of pop rocks in your mouth. Im sitting right next you
you mean i was at the winter classic?
i just saw her new tattoo, how much more trashy can you get than having "taste the rainbow" on your body for the rest of your life?
i wanna anger bang this girl behind me at work. she never shuts up with her annoying voice. but her boobs are phenom.
He taught me how to drive a stick by using his dick. He even made the whurrrr noise so I knew when to change gears.
Okay, lets just agree to keep all cutlery related activities to a minimum.
I'm bringing vagina and cookies. You'll be fine.
MORE IMPORTANTLY I THINK I JUST WATCHED SOMEONE GET SO LONELY AS TO TURN BISEXUAL??
Woke up to the frozen soundtrack blasting in the living room best one night stand ever
I told him I'd ride his broomstick if he let me call him Harry Potter and drew a lightning bolt on his forehead.
I just want someone to put their head on my boobs and laugh at my jokes ....
I'm sitting here listening to fat joe and doing kegels I have given up
He cut off part of his middle finger playing the knife game while singing The Knife Game Song at the top of his lungs. He also scream like a girl when his finger hit the floor and he realized he fucked up.
Randomize
