I'm glad girls dont get visible erections
But, it would have made life so much easier...
I just caught myself dancing like an old lady in the shower. Have I reached the age where booty dancing stops and swaying of the upper body begins?
you're putting all your eggs in a very hungover basket
She was Ugg boots AND a Bumpit. Of course I didn't sleep with her.
I just walked in on my roommate beating off with no pants on, an unbuttoned hawaiian shirt and a cowboy hat, and he weights 300 pounds
my ass has officially been on the floor of every fraternity on this campus
and who said we didn't have goals?
I just want to let you know it was a unanimous decision that we would eat you first if we ever turned into cannibals, we figured with all the bacon you eat you may taste like it. It's a chance we are willing to take with your life...don't forget that we love you
i thought i'd fucked her to death. no lie. she just stopped moving.
I'm being an old woman and getting trashed in a night gown in public...of course it's going to be fun
Well... When your girlfriend fucks your sister, the 2 week courtesy window goes out the door.
You could totally spank that new found Catholicism out of him.
im drinking out of a pineapple, so yea.
He doesn't have much of a personality but he makes up for it with his sexual prowess
keeper.
This is like the fourth time this month I've woken up hungover in someone's backyard
Some sorority went “Dick or Treating” at a frat house and now the Halloween parties are canceled
Randomize
