Where were you when I was single???
Still in diapers.
It all came flooding back to me: there was a woman with one hand
I got 70 on my final, or put differently, I got a "still graduating" on my final.
Nothing quite says America like barbecue and beer at 9 in the morning.
90 In a 65. Talked my way out of it with the i have to poop story. i am the ticket jesus
The bartender laughed but the manager kicked me out when the mom conplained. There's no way my fart harmed that baby in any way
As usual, I had to fight him for his car keys. Though this time he made it to the valet garage. All the Hispanic attendants gathered around and watched. Felt like I was in a cock fight.
The closest thing to a sext that you will ever receive from me is a picture of pepperonis on Greg's asscheeks, clenching.
You get 5 min
Your time limits don't scare me, I'll include foreplay and redressing in that 5 min. If you wanted to challenge me you should say you got an hour, id be scared then and more creative.
I don't think "growing medical marijuana" is Quite what my Grandfather had in mind when he thought me about gardening as a child
in your professional opinion, what's the most elegant way of saying "sorry I spent all night flirting with you, I thought you were gay" ?
1 why did you tell them where i peed last night and 2 where the fuck are you
She's throwing a party for a guy that just got out of rehab?
why yes, bad decisions will be made starting at 3PM Thurs through 8PM on Sun. You have been warned. Plan accordingly.
He just fucked me into paralysis. can't feel my hands or face.
Randomize
