Can Purell be used as lube?
but she was nice to me.
She was a fuckin STRIPPER.
You act like I was drinking alone...I had the entire Verizon network with me
Just think, this time last Cinco de Mayo you were holding me up and finding me passed out in the yard of that house.
Whiskey and I have a long and stories tradition of excellence
I come back upstairs and she's leaning over sink full of vomit saying 'oh my god it's the chili'
I got blood in my smoothie but it still tastes ok. Fuck glenfiddich.
I got slapped by a drag queen and bitten on the arm by either a random girl or a weird mouth shaped dog. Tough to tell without seeing the teeth
I'm going to bed early so football can come sooner
I've done dumber things than this for flimsier reasons. Come with. If I pull it off I need a witness, and if I fail I need an escape plan.
Everyone says she blew me in the bathroom, so I believe it, I just don't REMEMBER.
Why is it pressure? I want to see your cute face and possibly sit on it. You make it like its a bad thing.
that is our friendship pylon, do not lose it
fuck you.
DO NOT LOSE IT
I just saw a guy walking up the stairs with his dick out his pants. I let him know, and he just looked down in shock, laughed, and continued walking up the stairs.
I’ve slept with a Senior, a Freshman and a Junior so far. I’m a Sophomore away from hitting for the cycle
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