if creeping was an olympic sport, i would be a lock for the gold right now.
sex in a ball pit. and I thought ghandi did great things.
No, he's fine. He only wanted to know why there were traffic pylons in the living room and how the peanut butter got on the ceiling.
Until last night, I had never actually thrown up ON a sandwich
we've decided to start cutting you off when you can't figure out how to work an ipod.
I hope he says my name when they're having anniversary sex this weekend.
i've been lying on top of my bed for the past 20 minutes
i'm about to blow half an adderall though and try to rally
you had acid sex with the barista. why is my bucket list your tuesday?
Somehow those two combined like captain planet and shit went haywire
Fuck you, you can't judge me til you've smelt my boobs.
Do you want the fat one with an ok face or the skinny ugly one?
It doesn't matter as long as our shame is in tandem.
a guy just skateboarded past my window in a bunny suit while chased by a dog walker
I sit across from him at graduation so I get to stare at him and think about how I fucked his step brother and laugh to myself
I just fuked with kevins application and made it say that he does conjugal visits for community service
hey some people donate their time while apparently kevin donates his body
Have you ever realized how weird it is to think that you've fucked someone and don't know what their handwriting looks like?
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