pwbgyin
what?
penguin condom
Just made out with a pet sitter. His biz card says "even hamsters". Lowest point in my life.
Kenny Powers is just a normal guy with exceptional hair
Riding home in a carseat. Worst. Night. Ever.
Grab the Coors Light. Its time to get NASCAR drunk
He felt like a one man threesome
I like the one of me you and her but you're looking at me...Total foreshadowing right there. I'm cropping it
some drunk guy just paid $3 for each cig that i picked up off the ground. the cigs that he threw on the ground. I might just follow him the rest of the night
btw im making up a story about these stitches..... i think a hockey stick to the face sounds better then i fell up the stairs
Well... first you killed the girls goldfish, then you shoved her face in your armpit, made her cry, got kicked out, ate your cigarettes, and passed out in her driveway. Pretty successful night if you ask me
Oh aight, and i was just going to be content with drinking, beating off and watching ninja turtles
Are you awake? Because I would like to know whether or not I should refrain from giving my evil laugh when I enter the apartment...
They were scared I was going to get lost last night so they dressed me up as Waldo so someone would always find me.
Dude. I just got a visual of u climbing over a bathroom stall to save my life.
She pooped on me during a reverse cowgirl. And it wasn't a little bit either.
Randomize
