Dude, TWO hot chicks on jeopardy tonight. gonna be a good one
Dude, I am so turned on right now. Hot chick with glasses from brooklyn is absolutely crushing right now, taking whole categories. might beat off to jeapordy...
do another line during during the commercial and make the magic happen during double jeopardy.
You tried to convince her that if she gave you head she'd hear the ocean.....
I am laying on the kitchen floor eating cold chicken fingers and drinking wine. welcome to my new years party.
I have a question, if it paid really well, like ridiculously well, would you be a restaraunts under the table resident blowjob girl?
theyll ask where you are and ill say on a date crying in a sombrero
like that time i did too much ghb at gay pride
That white girl was surprised to see orange pubes around my black cock. Happy Halloween!
I think you have the right to know, the water bottle you drank out of the other night is the bottle we use to catch what drips from the toilet. Love you!
Imagine if you could have something so delicious, like your taste buds went on LSD while eating a chocolate tiramisu. That's the opposite of what cum tastes like.
Just served breakfast to a bunch of hella drunk kids. They kidnapped the birthday boy for his 21st and he was wearing a disney onesy and bunny ears. They've been drinking since before dawn, why don't we have friends like that?
Stormed out of the house in frustration and now I'm in public and have to take a rage dump. Today sucks.
we just ate hash browns in a nativity scene with baby jesus
I'm standing on the corner in a banana costume and cape with frozen bananas in my utility belt reassessing my life decisions.
Stop calling him just to say, "my vagina misses you."
He was more upset that I got into his phone than about getting caught cheating.
It's a draw. You need to settle it in Smash, Soul Calibur, and/or rock-paper-scissors, the last of which Steve claims is bullshit.
Randomize
