do you remember how we all fit in that bathtub?
tequila
i have some very unhappy turtles in my backseat
Just shot my load on a stink bug. Thought you should know.
I bought a bottle of 100 proof for the storm. I am going to drink until I pass out. I'm taking bets. 1:30 pm is the over/under.
i dont know what it was but it was definately NOT a vagina
Disgusting. If I saw her naked my dick would pack up his balls and leave.
Hurry there's a dancing lesbian. She's a jumper and has impeccable jazz hands.
i just kept saying he was red & i was blue and we couldnt become purple. I started crying at one point
I swear my vagina formed calluses just to deal with how big he is
No really tho I'm wearing a chucky cheese shirt and yoga pants. If that doesn't scream no sex idk what does
He is the blood diamond of hook ups. You think you want it...but you don't
Using my graduation announcement box as a table to roll a blunt on. I've official stopped giving a shit about senior year
id like to think im the only pot dealing prostitute that is also an ordained minister. but maybe not. what a time to be alive
A person can only vomit Fireball so much before they quit it forever
I'm really just disappointed in myself for having sex with a musical theater major
Randomize
