what's the vibe there?
extraordinary amounts of gine
My penis is bigger than his and I don't even have a penis.
Using manwich sauce as ketchup. Not bad. Love college.
So somehow I got from NYC to a suburban town in the middle of Jersey. At 4am. Thank god there are trains that can rectify my mistakes...
wanna get hammered and throw tomatoes at the people standing in line for the midnight showing of harry potter and yell whichcraft is evil
Maybe I should forgo underwear.
This is a family BBQ no?
Yeah... I was considering changing that part but the boxed wine is non-negotiable.
My plan to masturbate 34 times on my 34th birthday backfired. Do you still have those crutches?
your ability to divide cases of beer among any given group of people equally was missed.
GETTING HORNY AT RANDOM IS REALLY FUCKING INCONSIDERATE.
He facetimed with his son when he was still inside of me. If that's not a dedicated dad I don't know what is
and then you two started interpretive dancing to Mozart
He just peed in the cab. I repeat..IN.
Point in my hangover when I'm honestly not sure if I'm about to puke, or shit my pants.
St. Patty's shenanigans tmrw? I wanna meet dudes lol. Why stop at coronavirus when you can get the clap, too?
Randomize
