no its okay don't call 911, she's alive. just stopped by her house and banged on her door. she said she turned her phone off because she "had to be alone with her shame and embarassment". typical.
I am currently in the waffle making stage of highness
we couldnt tell if he was gay so we started working glee quotes into the conversation to see if he noticed.
He'd bedazzaled his ass. Im not even that gay...
i gave you head in a backbend. if that doesnt say happy birthday i dont know what does.
I've never seen the starbucks guy more terrified than when you dove out the car window after your credit card
Listen, everyone has a price and mine is free taco bell.
chimney cleaner pole that expands when button is pushed then pull out. Remember that. We have to patent it.
Who are you high with right now?
Not a clue. But I did find out that his penis has a British accent.
As we were about to go at it, his roommates barged in singing jumper by third eye blind. Weirdest almost one night stand ever.
How early is too early to study with margaritas?
So, if you were also having sex around 11pm, then we were legitimately being penetrated at the exact same time. That is amazing. We are soul sisters.
I just said "you do you" to my penis.
He said he would get me a helmet and bedazzle it with my name and address so the cabs would know where to take me
We should get drunk in walmart
when?
20 minutes ago
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